I suppose, yes. I could be carrying 100 tiny fetuses. Or I could be heading into week 72 of pregnancy. As it is, however, I am carrying a monokin and am somewhere between week 35 and week 38 depending on which doctor you talk to. But this is what I looked like last weekend:
To be honest, I don’t think this picture actually does it justice. My belly/uterus is GIANT. It enters the room a good five minutes before the rest of me. People gasp and cover their children’s eyes when they see me. I am truly a spectacle. And it probably doesn’t help that I have officially quit giving a shit about how I look and have decided that I will not wear any more “maternity” clothes. I went to Target the other day wearing my husband’s 2X New Pornographers t-shirt and a pair of cut-off sweats that might have belonged to K. You wish I were kidding.
On the plus side, as you can see, I am a lucky bitch who is not prone to ankle swelling, so from the knees down I look great in those cut-off sweats. And the reality is, giant uterus aside, my weight has stayed about the same since January (it’s okay — I gained enough for the whole 9 months in the first 4). But because of my AFI level and the reported size of the fetus, there just isn’t a whole lot of room for anything else. Plus I have developed aversions to dairy and wheat for some insane reason and can only eat sweet stuff at night and in very small doses. So I try to make the most of what I can manage to cram in; almonds, high-protein bars, and cereal with almond milk are my constant edible companions. Yeah, I miss eating normally.
But back to the original question. The latest news is that this baby is supposedly already well over 6 pounds. And my perinatologist is still insisting that my due date is May 21. So… If a fetus gains approximately 1/2 a pound a week at this point and I have five weeks left to go, then I will have 9 lb + full-term baby.
Nope, no way, no how.
Let’s just go ahead and get freaking real here for a second: I am NOT having a 9-10 lb baby. My first was 6.6 and my second 6.13. Both were completely healthy full-term babies and had perfect Apgar’s. I refuse to believe that I am currently carrying a week 35 fetus who is already bigger than his full-term sister and brother.
And lest you think that I am stupidly attempting to substitute my own medical assessment for that of a trained professional, I should point out that this same doctor also thought my last baby was going to be a huge fat monster baby, and so they induced me at 38 weeks. They had measured her to be already well over 8 lbs; she was 6.13. Not to mention, my OB thinks I am most likely 2 -3 weeks further along. I like her thinking better. Plus, my theory does not result in me being pregnant for five more weeks and then trying to give birth to a full-grown adult.
Because the bottom line is, I don’t really know how pregnant I am. But even assuming that they have over-estimated the size of this baby, I simply cannot fathom being this pregnant for 5 more weeks. Two weeks more, okay. I can swing that. I have still have shit to do before the baby is out and about. But FIVE?
I refer you again to the above picture and ask, could I BE any more pregnant?