In Which Our Heroine Leaves the Legal Profession and Acquires a Minivan…

Howdy y’all!

It’s me, Ruby Falls. No, that’s not really my name, but is close enough. Some of you may already know me as Southern Female Lawyer. While I am still technically southern, female, and lawyering, as the title to this post tells you, there have been some pretty big changes afoot. For various reasons, which I will describe in excruciating, nauseating detail if you are lucky, I have had to/decided to take a temporary break from working full-time and a permanent break from being a hourly-billing private attorney.

Why would I possibly leave such an exciting, financially rewarding, and emotionally fulfilling career, you ask? Well, primarily because of the shrieking fits of anxiety, the jackhole clients who refused to pay and the contingency cases that never paid, and the soul-sucking vortex of evil that was my professional life. But also because of myriad personal issues, including without limitation the fact that I am knocked up yet again and really, really hate lawyers. Yes, including myself.

So yeah, we bought a used minivan on account of we are about to pass the mandatory minivan threshold of spawn (2). And while I wrap up my practice, which, let’s face it, will take years, I am now entering into the new and terrifying world of stay-at-home parenting. As I mentioned previously, I am currently knocked up with #3. According to the ultrasound, presence of scrotum has been confirmed, so we call him Cletus the Fetus. We also have K, who is 11 and fancies himself quite the pwner of n00bs. And then there is Lulu, who is 2 1/2 and kind of bitchy. But I respect that.

Anyhow, as anyone who read the old blog or anyone who knows me in the real world knows, I am pretty freaking domestic. I garden, can, compost, cook, bake, clean, knit, sew, etc. etc. I’m not bragging or anything. I just believe in halfassing a ton of shit. Seriously, though, all of the these areas need work and you, Lucky Reader, get to laugh at me as I work through this whole thing.

And while I love my kids to bits and know that they are ooozing awesomeness, I am probably not going to spend my blog-time waxing annoying about how CUTE my kids are. Likewise, while I totally respect all house-spouses and anyone who does anything domestic for any reason, you should probably know that I am a whackadoo liberal socialist feminist and I do what I do out of love, respect, necessity, and craziness and not because I feel it is my “duty” as a woman. But I have nothing but love and respect for anyone who does this work for any reason. If God compels you, I think that is freaking awesome; we may not be able to enjoy a sit down about religion, but we can sure as hell enjoy a sit-down about canning. So let’s not let that stop us from being friends.

A couple more things before we start… As I mentioned above, I have opinions on the politics and whatnots. However, since I am entering a new phase of my life in which I am striving for peace in all corners, I don’t intend to enter into any political discussions. Not here at least. Also, I *do* swear. A lot. I’d apologize but this is my stream of consciousness you are reading, so you get it swears and all. Don’t get your knickers in a twist when I cuss. And yes, I *do* kiss lots of people with this mouth.

As for reader rules, all readers and commenters are welcome. I ask that you all play nice with each other. Place of peace and all that. All comments (save spam) will be eventually be posted, though all comments are subject to review. Don’t panic if your comment doesn’t go up immediately or in what you may consider a reasonable amount of time. I WILL get around to it. That said, if at ANY time, anyone submits a comment that I consider rude, bigoted, cruel, or otherwise inappropriate, it may not be approved.  Yep, my standards, though low, are certainly subjective.

Sit back and enjoy the shenanigoats.


I have my eye on you.


2 responses to “In Which Our Heroine Leaves the Legal Profession and Acquires a Minivan…

  1. rob4drok

    The Minimalist food blog on NYtimes is coming to an end, so he published his 25 fave recipes. Thought you might like to see them:

  2. musicmom1956

    I am so glad you have decided to write again! I really have enjoyed your style and because I am a “4” year old (it is a do over after 50) and got back into gardening and canning I am quite sure I am going to enjoy this blog just as much or maybe even more! Ha I might even learn a thing or two. My canning is very old-school water bath and pressure canning by the book (do not need any buggies or botulism) I look forward to a summer of reading. 🙂

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